What's that smell? It wasn't me!
East Moline officials may not know right away if Triumph Foods' proposed pork-processing plant will stink even if they visit the company's St. Joseph, Mo., facility.Hmmm. Kind of like an awkward social situation on a grand scale. The smell is clear to all, but everyone points to someone else.
The St. Joseph facility is built near a tannery, which uses strong-smelling solvents, and a city wastewater treatment plant. Residents complained about odors before the pork plant was built, St. Joseph Mayor David Jones said Monday.
The pork-processing plant opened Jan. 3.
When East Moline officials visit the plant in February, they may not be able to tell how strong the plant's odors are if smells from Prime Tanning Co. and the treatment facility overpower them.
"Geeze! What crawled inside your factory and died?" "Hey, it was that factory over there!"
As Dana Carvey's Church Lady might say, "How conveeeeeeeenient."
Perhaps a silo sized can of Glade might be in order to overpower the eau de death and pig waste?
But then there'd be rancor and strife over which scent should be used.
Here's the list. Maybe it could be put to a public referendum as to which scent the neighbors prefer.
• Apple Cinnamon
• Butterfly Garden ®
• Cinnamon Sticks ™
• Clean Linen ™
• Country Garden ®
• French Vanilla
• Hawaiian Breeze®
• Lavender Meadow®
• Lilac Spring ®
• Melon Burst ®
• Powder Fresh ®
• Rainshower ®
• Refreshing Spa ™
• Strawberries & Cream ®
• Suddenly Spring ™
• Tropical Mist ®
Which of those do you think would best coordinate with several tons of pig waste and offal?
I'm leaning toward "Refreshing Spa", (a spa treatment in a can? Brilliant!) though "Neutralizer" shows promise, and "Country Garden" would seem fitting.