Answer to Moline retaining and attracting new residents? Hire consultants to come up with a new logo.

Your Republican city government in action.

A partnership formed to unite the city and the school district under the same images also could bring more people to the area.

"We are trying to come to the same successful end to the means and draw people to the area," said Moline Ald. Mike Crotty, 6th Ward, who has been on the committee since it was formed three years ago.

"We also know that we are losing a fair amount of business and population to the Iowa side of the river, and we wanted to find an anchor to draw people to Moline. If we promote the schools along with the city, we thought we'd have a better chance instead of each of us doing our own thing," Ald. Crotty said.

The Illinois Quad City Chamber of Commerce is acting as a catalyst in the process.

Rick Baker, president and CEO of the chamber, said when the two began meeting, the whole effort was to improve communication.

"Common concerns and common goals evolved into other avenues. Most of their time was spent on how the community could better present itself. Together they began to work on how they could work together to promote the community," he said.

"Their resources are limited, so if they are each going to expend some resources to attract people to the community, they may as well go in the same direction," he added.

School board president Karen Buchanan said the first year was spent getting to know how the city and district functioned with issues such as funding. The past two years they have focused on joint marketing. The group has conducted surveys and held focus groups to help with the process.

"We would like to develop a brand so people know it is Moline. People are going to move to a city, and factories are going to come to a place with good schools, and the city is going to benefit from good schools," she said.

Recently, a proposed logo and tag line, "Moline, a good place to grow," was presented to the city council. Aldermen did not vote to move forward with the proposed items, and instead tabled action. They'd like to see some alternatives.

The city and district are working with Hanson Watson Howe Inc., an advertising and marketing firm in Moline, to come up a brand, logo and tag line.

Stunning. THIS is how they deal with things. THREE YEARS spent on a committee to learn how to talk to each other? Paying money for focus groups and surveys?! And they come up with... hiring a firm to design a new logo?!! Oh, and the slogan, "Moline, a good place to grow.", though they're not sure if that's good enough and are going to spend yet more money to come up with a few more ideas. I've got one. How about, "Moline, Thinking about growth since 1979"

Have a problem? Why, deal with like a business. Since you have no idea of the real nature of the problem, and are therefore clueless as to any solution, just go by the rule book of the Republican city government.

Step 1. Form a committee or committees. Go through the motions for years. Attempt to identify the problem. Fail and come up with basically nothing. Give up on the circle-jerk.
Step 2. Call your pals at the Chamber of Commerce. THEY'LL know what to do.
Step 3. Of course, they do what they always do, find a way to throw a contract to some consultant or other outfit to "study" the matter and make recommendations.
Step 4. Repeat as necessary.

In this case, years of brainstorming resulted in the absolutely brilliant idea of paying someone a large amount of cash to design a new LOGO. And they say that this new logo should attract more residents to Moline. (You see boys and girls, it's a magic logo.)

Rest easy Moliners, our problems are solved. After all, everyone knows that Republicans are experienced, no-nonsense, fiscally responsible businessman and know how to get things done efficiently and effectively. That's why you vote for them, right?

Is it just me, or is this basic course of action apparently the only one local government is capable of. It seems embarrassing.

For a mere $10,000, they could get a "report" from my new consulting firm, NeoDynaVibe Futuravision, LLP. I'd hand them a sheet of paper that said, "Stop studying the problem just to look like you're doing something. The only thing you accomplish is wasting city resources. Stick to the basics of any worthwhile city. Help the residents and neighborhoods of the city, improve services and schools, stop thinking the damn Chamber of Commerce holds all the answers. They're self-serving boobs for the most part.

Self-interested "development" groups are also to be avoided if possible. They made it their primary goal at one point to destroy almost all the older buildings downtown, a resource that is now lost forever, then plopped the architecturally hideous Deere office building and parking garage in the middle of it. Now the entire downtown is pretty much a permanent mess. Great plan.

Promote growth from the bottom up, not exclusively from the top down. Stay focused on the basics. If the city doesn't grow, then perhaps that's just the way it is. No amount of goofy studies or plans will provide some miraculous salvation. Times are tough all over. Deal with it. But at least serve the people who pay the cities bills."