Theocratic nut-case John Ashcroft to visit Davenport

John "Crisco" Ashcroft, a congressman who lost his last race to a deceased candidate and who distinguished himself by spending thousands of dollars to cover the sculpture of lady justice in drapes so that her bare breasts wouldn't appear in the background of photos, believing that calico cats are evil, and by having his father "anoint" him with Crisco oil when he was named Attorney General, as well as a host of lunatic actions and statements mixing theocratic, authoritarian, and just plain goofy views, is coming to Davenport.

Ashcroft, who forbid the FBI from running checks to see if the suspected 9-11 terrorists had made gun purchases because it would intrude on their rights, yet worked tirelessly to subvert the constitution at the drop of a hat on other matters, who's crowning achievement in keeping America safe was imprisoning Tommy Chong for selling bongs over the internet, and who famously scolded congressmen telling them that those who questioned the actions of the government to subvert the constitution were giving aid and comfort to the terrorists, will darken the Radisson Hotel in Davenport at 8 a.m. June 16th. He is appearing apparently because his presence draws a lot of nut-case right wingers and their checkbooks.

Details of the visit officially will be announced today. An invitation sent to the QUAD-CITY TIMES said that tickets are $35 per person, with higher priced tables also available for several hundred dollars.

Eric Woolson, a spokesman for the party, confirmed the visit Wednesday night. “Ashcroft is a very respected, very capable GOP leader and public official and he has a great name and is a tremendous draw,” Woolson said.

I understand Hitler used to be a good draw too.

**UPDATE**
I'm beating my head against the wall here, as alert Dopester Dissenter has reminded me of perhaps THE defining moment of the Ashcroft reign, his inspiring rendition of "Let the Eagle Soar." Watch it here and keep in mind that this guy was one of the highest officials of the most powerful nation on earth. (And 7th in line of succession for the presidency.)