March 10, 2005

Stranger than fiction

I've been aware of these first two stories for a while now, and have restrained myself from putting them up, but the urge to post them has just become too much. They're definitely two of the strangest stories I've read in a long time, both for their yuk factor and sheer bizarreness.

It seems one of Dave Matthew's tour bus drivers was crossing the Kinzie Street bridge in downtown Chicago on his way to pick up a band member at a loop hotel and thought it was the perfect opportunity to empty the 100 gallon waste storage tank on the bus into the Chicago river. Not too smart.

But it's the fact that a Chicago architectual tour boat was passing under the bridge at that exact moment and that 2/3 of the passengers were doused with "foul-smelling, brownish yellow liquid" that really makes the story special. Some boat passengers are suing for the cost of cleaning the interiors of their cars due to the fact they repeatedly got sick on their way home.

I'll let you go to the story in the Trib. Let them tell it. There's several links on the page to other pieces on the story for all the lovely details.

Then there's the story of Dr. Richard O. Phillips, the married Chicago family doctor who was having an affair with another physician, Dr. Sharon Irons. After the affair ended, the woman became pregnant with Dr. Phillips' child. The complication in this is that Phillips maintains they never had intercourse during their affair, though they did engage in oral sex a few times. He maintains that she somehow saved the sperm and then impregnated herself. He's suing for emotional distress, but was denied in his effort to sue for "theft".
Here's the key paragraph from the court opinion... one you'll not likely read again in your lifetime. I'm not making this up.:
"She asserts that when the plaintiff 'delivered' his sperm, it was a gift," the decision said. "There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request."
And it gets even more convoluted from there, if you can believe it.

And a guy in Bettendorf apparently saw an injured cat who had been struck by a car, and promptly decided to decapitate it with a pocketknife to put it out of it's misery. He was arrested and charged with animal abuse.


At 3/10/2005 11:39 PM, Anonymous Blue State said...

Sales of Dave Mathews CDs have gone down the toilet since that incident, and I hear the band has hired a new driver.

At 3/11/2005 12:05 AM, Blogger The Inside Dope said...

The driver in question was one of several drivers employed by the band and has been suspended without pay indefinitely. More details on restitution from the band and driver is within the stories.

At 3/11/2005 11:05 PM, Anonymous Blue State said...

Rah, Yeah, Atty. General Lisa Madigan. Although she may be a fan of Dave Mathews she put her job and her principles first and aggressively prosecuted the driver.

We cannot have citizens drowning in sewage as they take gondola rides around our fair city!

Ms. Dope, it's an outrage -- don't you think? What would the EPA have to say? Would VP Cheney see this as just a natural activity of the private sector that should not be regulated? Isn't that part of his "Clean Rivers Initiative"?

At 3/11/2005 11:21 PM, Blogger The Inside Dope said...

Certainly! Punishing the driver is just another instance of "tree-huggers" and government screwing up the freedom of good All-American, God fearing patriots!

They should all go Cheney themselves!

(note to the dim, this is sarcasm)


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