Worth a try, but without Sammy ...
... I'm not sure this is the answer to the Cubs woes. Hope springs eternal in the hearts of Cub fans.
As an inaugural treat, here's a prime audio clip of Harry Carrey, The Bud Man in all his glory.
"Hey, we see Marla Collins without shorts on for the first time..."
(the clip may cut out at the beginning - just drag the slider back to the left and listen from the start again.)
ADDENDUM: I've just found a little backstory on this clip. Marla Collins was the Cubs 28 yr old batgirl. In 1986, she was fired after posing nude for Playboy. Despite massive fan support, the Cubs terminated her for "behavior unbecoming an employee" of the franchise. This might explain why they all fell apart after Harry's comment.
--->> EXTRA BONUS.... Be the first person to correctly identify the famous person in the Cub uniform below and acheive the admiration and respect of Inside Dopers everywhere.
****FLASH**** WE HAVE A WINNER.. Unfortunately, it's "anonymous". (sigh)
The guy in the photo is Ronny "WooWoo" a long time Wrigley fixture famous for his rousing cheers of "Cubs WOOOOO!"